FIBS 'N' LIES
Musicians do lots of funny crazy things. They also do lots of boring sensible stuff that nobody wants to hear about. Sometimes it's hard to know what's true and what isn't, so we thought we'd save any hassle and simply make stuff up. As such, we're going to dedicate this page to untruths and nonsense. Remember, this is all made up. If any of it happens to be true it's not our fault :)
Please note we love everyone and everything connected with music. This is all meant in fun. DO NOT take offence!
If you've a got a good made up fact about a musician or band, please head to Contact Rock Realms and share it with the rest of the world!
Fibs 'n' Lies last updated ... 21st September 2009 ...
Blues guitarist Gary Moore is an international chess grandmaster. He is held in such high regard the Tim Rice, Björn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson penned musical Chess is partially based on his life.
Green Day front man Billy Joe Armstrong has admitted to being so obsessed by American sitcom Friends he actually went into rehab for two weeks after the final episode of series 10.
Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee runs a successful beauty and tanning salon in Boston.
David Lee Roth has both male and female reproductive organs and has thus far given birth to six children.
Derrick Green of Sepultura is the nephew of Peter Green, formerly of Fleetwood Mac.
Lamb Of God are named after a little known casserole recipe by famous chef-chick Delia Smith.
Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer (ELP) were originally joined by Chris Squire and Julio Iglesias, but the name Palmer, Iglesias, Lake, Emerson And Squire (PILES) didn't go down too well and the final two resigned.
Tall Stories front man Steve Augeri paints china mugs in his spare time and regularly sells them for upwards of $100 in several Beverly Hills Boutiques.
Blaze Bayley, one time singer with Iron Maiden, had a small cameo roll in Love Actually.
Roger Glover of Deep Purple provides the voice of all the Doozers in Fraggle Rock
Singer Tony Martin won his place in Black Sabbath in a game of poker against Bill Ward.
Bass guitarist Rudy Sarzo is a highly in-demand Shakespearean actor and has played Hamlet across the globe for the past 25 years. Famed stage-luvvy Michael Gambon also rates Sarzo amongst the top 3 Julius Caesars he has ever seen.
Don Dokken is morbidly afraid of plectrums.
Mick Jones from Foreigner is an avid collector of Sesame Street memorabilia.
Sammy Hagar plays in a reggae band called Caribbean Sunset.
Roger Daltrey is Chris Daughtry's paternal grandfather. The discrepancy in names comes from the registrar who wasn't very good at spelling.
Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian co-composed the theme to The Care Bears.
Biff Byford of Saxon and Bowling For Soup's planetary sized guitarist Chris Burney went to the same ballet and dance school in Iceland. Biff has twice played the lead in Swan Lake in the Sydney Opera House, whilst Chris used to be a backing dancer for The Prodigy.
Singer Kevin Chalfant was born Jan de Wolf in The Hague, Netherlands in 1948. He got his first job as a male stripper in Amsterdam's red light district with the stage name 'Lank Van Fetich'. He changed to his present title, an anagram of his adult entertainment moniker, in the early 90's.
(Thanks to ‘Nicky’)
Def Leppard's Joe Elliot is also the rhythm guitarist in a death metal band called Mindless Pig Slaughterers. Their best loved song, 'Farewell To The Trotters' reached number 5 in the German charts in 1991.
Slash got his nickname after cutting off one of his feet in a farming accident.
Journey key-fondler Jonathan Cain is rumoured to be in talks to play 80's piano diva Richard Clayderman in a planned biopic. Jonathan has been brushing up on his acting skills by taking small, background roles, in am-dram stage productions and daytime U.S. soaps.
(Thanks to ‘Nicky’)
Harrison Ford played the xylophone in Toto for two years in the early 80's.
In the first Police Academy film, if you look very carefully in the background during one of the 'Blue Oyster' scenes, you can see Rush drummer Neil Peart dancing with Mark "The Animal" Mendoza from Twisted Sister.
Fred Durst plays canasta to international standard and was once ranked 3rd in the world.
Nancy Wilson from Heart is the great aunt of actors Owen and Luke Wilson.
Rick Wakeman is 53rd in line to the throne in Cambodia.
Slayer front man Tom Araya once shared a flat with Barack Obama in Mexico City.
Billy Sheehan, bass player with Mr. Big, used to be an underwear model for Victoria's Secret.
Marilyn Manson is the Hungarian aubergine eating champion.
Axl Rose can speak fifteen languages fluently and is the only known English translator for the Kermooly Tribe in the northern forests of Brazil.
Lemmy from Motorhead has a thing for Cocker Spaniels and currently owns more than twenty.
Bob Catley, silver haired vocalist of UK rockers Magnum, once appeared in an infomercial for 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'.
Slipknot recorded a cover of 'Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' during the Iowa sessions. A video exists of guitarist Jim Root dressed in said outfit. The other members were said to be very disappointed in him.
Rob Halford has six nipples and can dispense milk from three of them. His cheese is a delicacy in Norway.
Disturbed (the band, not the psychological state) singer David Draiman can communicate with macaques, most notably the Barbary subspecies form North Africa and Gibraltar. His silly gibbon-esque noises may come across as comedic, but he is secretly giving coded instructions to the monkeys to attack. Never play a Disturbed song in a zoo. It will lead to bedlam.
Ted Poley, singer with (so good they named it twice) Danger Danger is allergic to women's breasts. According to a leaked doctors report, Ted gets all hot and stiff every time he gets near a boob and has to rub cream on himself. Physicians are desperately searching for a cure.
(Thanks to ‘Tony M’ from the MR Forums)
Whitesnake lead singer David Coverdale started life as a mongoose wrangler in the Southern Indian state of Madras. All rumours about the size of his manhood are true. What isn't widely known is that his meat sword bears an uncanny resemblance to a king cobra. Placed carefully inside a wicker basket, it provided the perfect training tool for young, inexperienced 'mongeese' and reputedly saved the lives of over a hundred and thirty people who kept these trained carnivores in their homes to guard against slithering trouble makers.
Thunder guitarist Luke Morley is the most highly regarded poodle breeder in the UK. His puppies sell for anything upwards of £750.
Famed doddery brummie Ozzy Osbourne is a member of brain-society Mensa. His IQ of 173 comfortably puts him at the top end of intelligent society. He was responsible for several Iraqi code breaks during the first Gulf war. He also invented the Toblerone.
Metallica may be the biggest rock band (called Metallica) in the world, but drummer Lars Ulrich still finds time to write physics test papers for the University of Michigan. He is also a professor of bio-chemistry in Honolulu and is expected to win a Nobel Prize for his work in nano technology within the next two years.
GWAR front man Oderus Urungus hasn't always been the 'man' he is today. Born to a mackerel farmer and sheep-barber in Skegness, little Sarah McAngel was a model of childhood perfection until her late teens. A regular church attendee and a common site on children's TV adverts, a terrible accident during a botched alien abduction attempt left Sarah hideously disfigured. Her only choice was to change her name (and a few other things) and start a new life in Bermuda.
Iron Maiden drummer Nicko McBrain is a trained masseuse and often travels with the UK darts team on Far Eastern tours, helping to keep the players supple and lithe.
Yngwie Malmsteen sadly died 10 years ago in a freak wave off the Haitian coast. He was immediately replaced with a robot developed by the Ukrainian military. Trials so far have suggested only 62% of people can notice the difference.
Jon Bon Jovi isn't worth a penny. Since the inception of his music career he has donated all his earnings to a small zoo in Massachusetts. He currently lives in a shed in Sebastian Bach's garden.
Gene Simmons was voted 'most likely to marry another man' at high school.
Dave Mustaine and Lita Ford are the same person. Lita Ford really is an attractive woman, but DM is Lita dressed in male attire. If they ever need to be seen at the same time, Doro plays the part of Dave.
Giant front man Dann Huff runs a hardware shop in Belarus. It's very successful and now employs 3 full time and 4 part time staff.
Ronnie James Dio reached 7ft 4in during his twenties due to complex pituitary gland issues. He had a series of operations in the late 60's to correct his gigantism and is now a much more acceptable 6ft 2in. He only looks short because his head is 27in across.
Jim Peterik won the discus competition at both the 1976 and 1980 olympics. He competed for Tunisia.
