THE ROCK REALMS AWARDS 2009

Rock Realms only came to be in 2009. As such this is our first ever yearly awards. It's been a great honour to work with so many splendid people and hear so much excellent music in 2009. Hell, even the terrible music was kind of interesting!

We have numerous awards ready to dish out at Rock Realms, but we'll only give 'em if we think at least one track or album is worthy. Some releases are so good we'll invent an award just for them, but you didn't hear us say that! Okay? :)

We haven't had time to listen to every single release this year unfortunately so, if there's something that you love missing from here, we either didn't hear it or we didn't like it.

Some of the awards on this page are single honours, some lead to other lists. We're sure you can work it out...

THE INDIVIDUAL SONG AWARDS - LISTS
POWER/HEAVY METAL:

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HEAVY, HARD & MELODIC ROCK:

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BALLADS:

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THE INDIVIDUAL SONG AWARDS - OTHER
SOFT (ROCK): Joy Focus - 'Audrey Is Gone'

You probably haven't heard of Joy Focus. You should have. This song is good enough to grace any chart across the globe.
COUNTRY (ROCK): Kimberley Dahme - 'Rock You Like A Baby'

Does exactly what it says in the title. Bon Jovi went all country, but this is how to do it properly.
CLASSIC (ROCK): Howard Leese - 'Heal The Broken Hearted'

Featuring the silky vocals of Paul Rodgers, this song is a real return to that classic Bad Company/Free sound. If this track had been released in the 1970's it would have been massive.
RETRO (ROCK): Surefire - 'Lucy'

It's got a borrowed riff and a familiar vibe, but there's no getting away from the absolute cool of this track. The whole album's a bit of a stormer to be fair.
THEATRICAL (METAL): Heavenly - 'Farewell'

This song sounds more like Queen than Queen ever did. Freddie Mercury is alive and well and living in France.
CHRISTIAN (SOFT ROCK): Lou Gramm Band - 'That's The Way God Planned It'

Christian rock doesn't get much more obvious than this. Normally that would be enough to put me off. So why do I keep finding myself singing this track? It must be brilliant, there's no other explanation!
CHRISTIAN (HARD ROCK): Liberty 'N' Justice - 'Man Vs Mother Nature'

Featuring a certain Mr. Ted Poley from Danger Danger, this track is just brilliant...although I still maintain Mother Nature would win.
COVER (ROCK): The Fire - 'New York, New York'

Who'd have thought that a heavy rock cover of the Frank classic would sound so awesome? I didn't. I do now!
COVER (METAL): Jorn - 'I Walk Alone'

Originally sung by Tarja Turunen, best known as the lead singer of Nightwish, Jorn's version makes hers sound boring and, frankly, a bit rubbish. Er, go Jorn!
COVER (OTHER): Mandragora Scream - 'Bang Bang'

Not strictly a rock song, and it comes from one of the most disappointing albums this year, but this cover of Sonny and Cher's 'Bang Bang' is much better than it has any right to be.
FUNK (ROCK): Jeff Scott Soto - 'Testify'

Is there no end to this man's talents? I honestly don't think there's a genre he couldn't make sound good. Except perhaps female opera...although I'm sure he'd give it a go.
MODERN (ROCK): The Fire - 'Sweet Enemy'

Now this is a good song! It's a perfect example of how to make a song understated and hard hitting. Superb.
MODERN (METAL): SOiL - 'Anymore'

Perfect Picture is a bit of a dark horse. There's some top music hiding on it, and this has got to be one of the finer moments.
INSTRUMENTAL (METAL): Kooznetz - 'Works With Metal'

To quote the Rock Realms review..."Most instrumentals leave me cold regardless of how good they may be on the surface. This one makes me hotter than a warm day on the sun."
ALT (ROCK): The Chelsea Smiles - 'Take You Away'

A great song from a great album by a great live band. You can't ask for more than that...
ALT (METAL): The Wildhearts - 'Chutzpah!'

The title track from their stunning 2009 album, 'Chutzpah!' really does have a bit of everything in it - thrash, punk, ballad, pop...and the list goes on. It shouldn't work but does. And how...
PROG (BALLAD): Saga - 'Hands Of Time'

Stunning. there isn't much else you can say.
PROG (ROCK): Days Before Tomorrow - 'Lighters'

This band has won awards elsewhere for their writing and it's no real surprise. One listen to the chorus of this track will tell you all you need to know. 'The Sky Is Falling' from the same album is only a gnat's hair-width behind.
PROG (METAL): Vindictiv - 'Tweedledum and Tweedledee'

Loving the phaser gun sounds in this song. Oh, and how good does the musicianship want to be?! Awesome!
V.HEAVY/EXTREME (METAL): Watch Me Bleed - 'SixSixSeven'

From the first bars of the chugging opening, you know this is going to be a monster. So big and heavy it could squash a small moon.
SPEED (METAL): Impellitteri - 'Wicked Maiden'

To be fair, any year that Chris Impellitteri releases an album he's likely to have this award sewn up. He is the don.
SYMPHONIC (METAL): Europe - 'Last Look At Eden'

Didn't see this one coming. Europe more symphonically epic than anyone else? What next? Great track though!
THE ALBUM AWARDS - LISTS
HEAVY, HARD & MELODIC ROCK:

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POWER/HEAVY METAL:

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THE ALBUM AWARDS - OTHER
ALTERNATIVE (ROCK/METAL): The Wildhearts - 'Chutzpah!'

I've never really liked The Wildhearts. This album changed my mind in about 3 seconds flat. You need it. Now.
SOFT (ROCK): Kimberley Dahme - 'Can't A Girl Change Her Mind?'

It didn't even know Boston had a female bass player. I do now. I also know she is way more than a plucker of thick strings. Oh my...
SOUTHERN/CLASSIC (ROCK): Koritni - 'Game Of Fools'

It's like the 1970's never ended and instead just got better and better.
PROGRESSIVE (ROCK): Saga - 'The Human Condition'

Yep, big fan of this. The new singer may have changed the sound and upset a few of the old faithful, but just look at the quality of the music. It's a right stunner all right!
EP: Hate Gallery - 'Dead Celebrities'

It was a close-run thing between this and Lucidfly's 'The Escape Stage', but in the end the fact Hate Gallery have a song about irritating famous people swung it. Look and learn :)
LIVE: Destruction - 'The Curse Of The Antichrist: Live In Agony'

Destruction were made for the live arena. This release does nothing to dispel that notion.
INSTRUMENTAL: No Winner...

We've heard a few instrumental albums this year and, to be honest, none of them have excited us enough to think them worthy of an award. Chad Smith's Bombastic Meatbats probably came closest, but even that was only okay. Here's to next year...
THE BEST OF THE BEST AWARDS (THE BIG ONES)
SONG OF THE YEAR:

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ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

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THE OTHER (OCCASIONALLY SILLY) AWARDS
BEST PROMOTIONAL ITEM: The Kooznetz Condom

A condom in a Kooznetz branded packet. Genius. We haven't tried it yet. Sadly it isn't kingsize...We like promotional items by the way. It'll make no difference to your review, but it'll make us jolly happy! :)
WTF SONG: The Wildhearts - 'Tim Smith'

This track starts off as out-and-out thrash metal before turning into a soft and beautiful pop-tinged ballad. It makes no sense and doesn't need to. It's frankly astonishing.
DIRTY, DIRTY! SONG: Robin Brock - 'Master And Slave'

Genuinely filthy sounding song that gets as much of it's aura from the music as it does from the words. We really want to see the video for this one!
PARTY SONG: U.D.O. - 'Devil's Rendezvous'

Devil's Rendezvous is what the best song in Satan's disco sounds like. And that's a fact.
BEST ALBUM WE HAVEN'T HEARD YET: Steel Panther - 'Feel The Steel'

We've seen loads of videos from this album and heard loads of tracks. To be honest, it sounds awesome - but in a monstrously cheese-ridden way that might not translate to long-term love.
BEST LYRICS: Preacher Stone - 'Old Fashioned Ass Whoopin' Sum Bitch'

This award may not have existed had it not been for this track. Utterly brilliant wordage. We offer our respects, Sirs.
FINEST RHYTHMS: Motorband - 'Higher Then Eagles Fly'

Not necessarily a technically brilliant song, but those drums combined with the rattling bass make for contagious listening. I dare you to listen without tapping along!
SWEAR WORD IN TITLE: Danger Danger - 'FU$'

Okay, so in written form there are no swear words in the title but, trust me, they do get sung. Totally brilliant track from a totally brilliant album.
'ACCIDENTAL' COVER: Cain's Offering - 'Elegantly Broken'

'Tell It To My Heart' by Taylor Dayne anyone?
CARTOON VOCALS: S.E.X. Department - 'Back My Uniform'

The lead singer of S.E.X. Department has a, er, really unusual tone. 'Back My Uniform' is as silly as it is superb, but we love it!
INSANELY BONKERS SONG: Shenaniganz - 'Bavaria'

Words struggle to describe just had excellent this track is, even if it is as mad as a box of badgers.
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