A BAND OF ORCS
Questions asked by Jon Wilde, added to Rock Realms 4th January 2010.
A Band Of Orcs - Gogog Bloodthroat on vocals and growls, Cretos Filthgrinder on lead guitars, Hulg ElfR.I.P.per on crunchy guitars, Gronk! on shamanic bass, and Oog Skullbasher on war drums - does what it says on the tin. This is a band made up entirely of orcs. Obviously.
We caught up with 'the guys' to find out more about their own breed of very heavy metal...
Hi Guys, thanks for taking a moment to answer these questions. Hope you are well?
Gogog: Better once you go away and us eat.
How did A Band Of Orcs originally get together?
Gogog: Elite warriors of Gore-Stained Axe Tribe always hunt together, like when us first summoned to this realm.
Why the choice to play music...rather than the more usual Orc pastime of brutalizing humans?
Gronk!: Us do both! Torture and mayhem always better with brutal soundtrack.
What other bands would you compare your sound to?
Gogog: The sound of Orc Metal incomparable. There are no comparison!
Gronk!: Insightful humans have compared our paeans to the sounds of Morbid Angel, Destruction and Vile.
Did you ever think of going down the country or jazz music route, or do you find your looks lend themselves more readily to the heavier end of the metal spectrum?
Gogog: Gogog make jizz to music all night long, in country, city, dungeon, wherever the hell Gogog want to.
Do you have specially modified instruments to allow your hideously malformed hands and faces to get near them? No (well not very much) offence...
Cretos: Come closer and us show you what my hideously reformed fist do to your face, ugly pinko.
Hulg: Hulg is beautiful.
Gogog: No adjustments need. You frail humans is shaped enough like the us master creatures that we can use your toys with no changes.
Actually, saying that, are you quite good looking as far as Orcs go? I can't really tell.
Gogog: All she-orcs want children from Gogog. Many will get them!
Cretos: Cretos proud to father children on all the others.
Gogog: There is no others. Only slop seconds for Cretos.
You claim that you're “not misunderstood, you're evil” Just how evil are you? Do you think you could make it as a lawyer?
Gogog: Gogog has slain 10 thousand elf children while Gronk! stuck hot pokers into stomach button hole of filthy elf parents. Pixie villages have been decimated to provide us feast of pixie eye caviar. Oog took crap in unicorn's watering hole.
When did you start work on your latest release, and how long did it take to create?
Gogog: We never release prisoners, only let Hulg eat brains.
Hulg: Braiiiinnzzzz
Gronk!: Orcs create nothing; destroy everything.
Cretos: Me create half-orcs.
Where do you get your lyrical inspirations from?
Gronk!: Gzoroth!
All: Hail Gzoroth!!!
Gogog: And we make hymns to our glorious battles. Many adventures. Many giants and unicorns slain!
How are songs typically created in A Band Of Orcs? Are they a group effort, or does one of you write whilst the others are out maiming and torturing?
Cretos: Me make epic guitar solo. Songs built round me shred.
Gronk!: Fool, Cretos! Gzoroth whisper darkness in our hearts, from then we spawn epic tales from death to fingers.
Do you have a favourite A Band Of Orcs song, or does nothing compare to the stifled cries of a dying human?
Gronk!: Humans do not have enough vocal chords for a truly satisfying scream. Listen to death throes of a chimaera to get true orchestra of pain. So many pitches, so much dissonance, pain. Warm feeling in belly grows even just thinking of it.
Do you enjoy the whole studio/creative experience, or do you prefer getting up on the live stage?
Hulg: Hulg dead on stage.
Gronk!: Orcs enjoy all roads to Domination.
What is one of your live shows like? What should fans expect from one of your performances?
Gogog: Expect domesticated humans worshipping us.
Gronk!: Expect some aeon soon great Gzoroth awakened by heavy metal thunder, bring Domination nigh!
How surprised are people when they see you...perhaps expect you to play a slightly cartoonish style of music...and then you belt out some of the finest death metal imaginable?
Gogog: Very surprised. Many times have us seen the frozen grin of disbelief forever lodged on human face when Gogog remove head with axe.
You, Gwar and Lordi are in a room. Who eats who?
Hulg: Hulg eat everyone.
Gronk!: Yes, that probably true.
Any question you love being asked that I've missed? If so, what's the answer?
Cretos: "Can us give you my daughters?" Answer is always YES.
Gogog: Yes, always bring your daughters to our slaughters.
What are you up to once you've finished answering these questions?
Hulg: Braaaiinzzz!!!
Anything else you would like to mention?
Oog: Oog smash now?
Gronk!: Domination just heart beat away. We make treaty with Heavy Metal-World and Itchey Metal Entertainment Records. You human doomed now.
Thanks again to the orcs for their time.
http://www.myspace.com/abandoforcs
http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Band-of-Orcs/135239697386
